Mornings,

Yes, I post things early in the morning, at 6 a.m. (And I'll regret it later on, when I get some sleep). Something just popped up in my mind while I was eating a toast. And really, the title has to do something with the other thing, but it's more like the picture I imagined - a peaceful afternoon, someone sitting in their room, reading a book, casting a glance from time to time to see what's happening outside. But it's only the beginning of one lonely life. Thus =>


YOU SHOULD GET USED TO LONELY AFTERNOONS.

My friend,
welcome to that world of mine
where comfort you can’t find.
And I think I can divine -
We both are bound to pine
with grief.

My dear,
Another spill from my drink -
another thought of you will sink
deeper and deeper into my mind
It’s not that I’ve been blind.
I knew.

My dear,
Your betrayal is my chain,
your happiness – my pain.
Anger, tears - sneaking to my heart
as, since you left me, I am split apart.
Irresistible you are.

My friend,
you’ll never fully understand my story.
and always tell he has achieved some kind of glory.
I’m neither sad, nor angry anymore.
‘Cause I avoid my feelings, unlike days before -
days of passionate betrayal.

My friend..,
bound we are to misery.

[Hint * this is the main character talking to her friend and to her beloved one, if you didn't catch it.] Oh, when I become so serious and all? (hint-lack of sleep) Hope you have a nice morning.

Society

Society. One will always feel smothered by the pressure that our society does. Pressure how? The "unwritten laws" are the main reason people can't be themselves in public and around others, they don't know well. Imagine if everything was acceptable and people did whatever they want. Not a brilliant idea, because I might have an urge to take my clothes off and shout in the middle of the town square. Not a nice view. [Even though I'm sure there IS a law, which doesn't let me do that, and thanks God.]
These unwritten laws affect the way we act at some point. Do we like what we like; or what we are told to? When you see a stranger, dressed in unusual clothes, do you ever stare at them or pass a glance? What is unacceptable? It really depends on the people around you. We hang out with people with similar interests, ideas, etc. to ours; or simply - people, with whom we have something in common. The problem is we can never find someone exactly like us, and that's why we can't indulge ourselves with acting the way we want to. Because we want to be a part of some group. For example, having fun for me, might seem to you like a boorish behaviour. (e.g. you don't like running around naked, I still don't know why.)
How to be a part of any group of people? Just look for people who are, more or less, like you and who don't mind the differences between people. (Even though one will always try to make the other more like them.)
Here comes society. You, and maybe your group, can feel comfortable or not with being a part of it. Each country has different morals and principles, thus you can either fit or not.
What happens when you don't fit? You have two choices: a) Care; b) Do not care. If you care, you try your best to adopt others' behaviour and then you feel bad. If you don't - good for you.
And what if we live in a sick society, with twisted ideals and superficial ideology? We kill the jews. (Joking, of course.) It was a rhetorical question, because I haven't found an answer yet. Who do we blame for all of this? The media, the politicians, the economy?
I don't have the right to judge anyone, I'm just questioning myself. [Oh, I'm so cliche.]
I hope to find my answer, sooner or later.

The Story of a drawing.

I like drawing. I don't do it that often, more likely, from time to time. And I admit I'm not really good at it [not that good at all].

In my opinion, the most interesting part of a drawing is its idea and meaning, if it has any.

Understanding any piece of art is the same as understanding the person whom it belongs to. Or, at least, a part of them, which they expressed throught their picture/song, poem, etc.

So, today I was drawing a flower. "Let's draw a flower!". But it looked to me like a nose, so I changed it to a human face. Then "Why don't I make her with her eyes closed?". Well, she looked unhappy "Oh, my, she's crying!" *drawing a tear, then some random circles*. "Oh, these circles look like bubbles! So she's in a lake or something.".. Then suddenly I realized: "O My God! She's crying, because she's drowning!". I felt the urge to draw a hand, so I did. And, last, but not least, i drew a heart-shaped necklace (it belongs to the drowning girl. I erased it afterwards, but never mind). And I finally got it: Girl A (the drowning girl) and girl B, which hand i just drew, were fighting over a boy, because girl A slept with girl B's boyfriend, and girl B wanted girl A to drown. (Still not confused?) Art is so complicated. :(

My point is that the story behind the artwork is the most interesting thing. The plot. The idea. Why did he/she did so and so? Maybe it means something, it's not just random combination of colours, words or notes or whatever. Or maybe it is, but there is always more than one possibility.

Just my thoughts. (:

a+c = who you are

I Was lying in my bed the other night, unable to fall asleep, doing some evaluation of my previous days such as were they of any use for my growing up as a smart/thoughtful/talented/etc. person. Lately, I've been doing a lot of things (e.g. reading, watching films, drawing, going out,..) so that I can feel a little more meaningful to myself, and not too worthless to the world. One idiot less. So, I was thinking and one simple question just came across my mind: "Who am I?" Not that I haven't asked that myself before. Actually, I have, a lot of times. But this time there was this feeling of self-unconsciousness.
So what makes one person unique? It's a simple formula: appearance (a) + character (c) = who you are. But what happens if you're improving (or trying to improve) your looks and personality, thus changing them. Therefore, I have no answer to the question above. And I can't find a definition to the word "Milena" in the dictionary.
So do I force myself to change something and don't feel comfortable doing the things I do, or do I do what my will says, barely improving the person I am. How do I end this post? Oh, yes. I hope I didn't bore you to death and you might find this post not that useless. (don't argue)

THE END

Еhm, well..

I don't really know how to start blogging, so I'll just post something I wrote.

SOON ONLY MEMORIES WE’LL HAVE LEFT.
(Devoted to my idol, Mariana)

A sparkle in a dark night,
This obscurity is light,
as you are here to guide.
So there is a bright side?

You lead and I follow
Even though the forest’s so hollow
I step with confidence
‘Cause you are here in the near distance.

We reach the castle and open the door
We get in, then I start to explore
But time is running and keeping the smoldering fear;
It’s growing, now that I know that the end is so near.

Get up.
Life awaits us, you can’t stay.
The Sun is shining with its blinding ray.

Get up.
Like a firefly you were the one that gleams.
Now I have to let go of my dreams.